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RE: Separated and Hurt - 7/18/2010 9:39:37 PM
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daughter_of_faith
Posts: 1230
Joined: 1/10/2008
From: Great Plains, Kansas
Status: offline
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Oh Gabby, I am so sorry to hear of your separation from your husband. My (ex) husband and I separated, then we divorced so I am not really much help. I will be praying for you. (((hugs)))
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RE: Separated and Hurt - 7/22/2010 10:50:19 AM
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Gabby777
Posts: 193
Joined: 7/9/2010
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quote:
ORIGINAL: daughter_of_faith
Oh Gabby, I am so sorry to hear of your separation from your husband. My (ex) husband and I separated, then we divorced so I am not really much help. I will be praying for you. (((hugs)))
Thank you so much!!!
_____________________________
Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
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RE: Separated and Hurt - 7/24/2010 11:38:19 AM
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ColoradoLady38
Posts: 374
Joined: 8/11/2008
From: Somewhere near Pikes Peak
Status: offline
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(((Gabby))).
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have been there myself, and it's one of the hardest things you can go through. But this is something that you can make it through. For advice you need to consider if this is a temporary seperation, or is he/you talking about divorce. If he hasn't mentioned it, it may be something that you need to consider. Forgive me as that is not something that I take lightly, but at times it is necessary. If you and he have talked about reconciliation/divorce that's where you are going to begin your planning. It all depends on what you and he have to talk about. But until such time as you hear of something either way, the best advice I can give you is to just be you and enjoy doing it the best that you can. You plant that beautiful smile on your pretty face and NEVER let him see you cry and sweat. You be strong in front of him, his family and friends, even though on the inside you want to scream at the world. You lead him and his friends to believe that you are strong enough to make it through this life, even without him. Yes it's okay to cry, even in front of your daughter, but it's not the best thing for her to see the full on screaming, crying, puffy eyed fit that you do when you are alone. There is nothing wrong with that kind of grief, but you also have to be strong for her, because her world has been upheaved also. Yes, it's okay to shed some tears in front of her, because it shows your humanity. Remind her that her dad still loves her dearly. Regardless of how this all turns out, never bash him in front of her, no matter what he's doing. That will come back to bite you in the ear later on.
For you personally, I would recommend taking a class, and maybe starting up some things that YOU have wanted to try. How about sky diving, or deep sea diving? Maybe a cake decorating class? Just something for YOU. It's one way to keep your mind off of things, but also to help you grow as a person. Go get a new haircut, or a mani/pedi, or a facial. Hey do all of those, and leave looking like the beautiful woman you are. Plus that will be a nice testament to your daughter, that this situation will not break you. That you will overcome and will be better in spite of it. If money is the issue, many local high schools offer classes for free, or pretty close to it. I know that our library offers computer classes and also some arts and crafts stuff. This will be a great opportunity for you and your daughter to get some mommy/daughter time.
It's unfortunate, but the decision right now is in your husband's hands. Until he comes to his senses and decides what he wants, you are waiting in the lurch. But I wouldn't wait too long, before I decided to jump and make a decision that's best for my daughter and I. It's hard, I know it is. One day at a time, that's all that you can do.
When you hear something about this from him, please let us know so we know how to pray and counsel you. I don't want you disappearing off by yourself, feeling so alone. Because many of us on the board have been there, and we can help to guide you along the way of this journey. You and yours are in my prayers. May God be with you, and show you his perfect love in every way.
S
_____________________________
God loves me even though....
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Separated and Hurt - 
I feel so lonely...He was also my best friend...it feels like I am living my nightmare, which was that he would leave me and not care and that is what it seems like...
...God is my strength and I want to be strong for my daughter...