RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!
View related threads:
(in this forum
| in all forums)
|
Logged in as: Guest
|
|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 7/31/2008 11:01:52 AM
|
|
|
jlc0204
Posts: 4
Joined: 7/31/2008
Status: offline
|
I too have struggled with porn since college and M since age 13. My wife discovered how bad things were Jan. 2007. I have been recovering well for a year and a half. I've slipped a couple of times, but not with porn, but with M. That has actually been the most difficult to refrain from. It is addicting like the worst type of drug (at least for me).
I used porn and M for an escape from life, conflict, and false expectations about marriage. My wife still has not forgiven me and keeps the door open about divorce. We are sexual, but only on our scheduled night. And let me be honest, it is not enjoyable. She is very mechanical and does not allow any of it to be pleasurable for either of us. I know this is all due to my sin and what I've put her through. But it still hurts and at times I really feel like M. I haven't been though. I am doing my best to stay committed to her in that area.
I have had to stop looking at regular mags in the grocery stores, men's mags, and about anything on TV/movies. This helps me stay pure in thought. I do occasionally give second looks to the mag covers, or commercials on TV, and unfortunately to live women. But I have stopped the lusting and feel completely guilty when I notice I've given a second look.
I have started attending Celebrate Recovery at my church, which now includes a "men's purity group" that is loosely based on Pure Life Ministeries.
We do not have web access in the home, and my wife does not trust filters or accountability software. She continues to blame me for the inconvenience of leaving the home to use the computer, especially now that we are doing more with eBay.
To help with the struggle you really have to learn to "bounce" you eyes of anything that can be sensual. I mean give me a break our entire culture is so sexualized now that at time I feel it would be easier just to have my eyes removed! I'm serious about that by the way. I'm that committed to living a pure life for Christ/wife/kids. Except I know it would make the rest of life a little more difficult (i.e. sports/camping/fishing/etc).
I've read some books (Every Man's Battle/Counseling the Sexual Addict/etc) and many many articles online (at work).
I continue to have very hurt feelings over my relationship with my wife and our lack of intimacy. I have to be careful about what I read even about sexual intimacy between spouses, because I get hurt knowing that we're not like that now, it will be quite a while before we are, and we actually may never get there.
Prayer and support from my accountability pastor are the only things that keep me going sometimes. I truly only want to be with my wife and see as extremely beautiful and desirable. I want nothing to do with porn. I fight with M and am winning.
I admit I have lived a very selfish life. I had very unrealistic expectations of marriage (i.e. sex ALL the time, minimal conflict, more hot sex, no financial worries, even more sex, etc.) As you can tell my thought life has been centered around mostly one thing since about age 13. The music I listened to in junior/senior high (Explicit rap) and the movies and shows I watched helped feed this mess to me, but of course I did not understand that at the time.
I continue to work on my thought life and try to realize that sex is everything, but only one small, enjoyable, part of life. I try to be more focused on Christ and being less selfish in marriage. It is hard and is a constant struggle.
Thanks for taking the several minutes it took to read this rambling. I wanted to be able to give some hope, but also restated the daily struggles of a recovering addict. My struggle is not porn itself, but sexuality in general (only with my wife) which still causes us great conflict.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/1/2008 8:30:58 AM
|
|
|
revbob4God
Posts: 606
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
|
I will pray for you. AT least you are facing your issues with hoesty and openness to change and to allowing God to work within you, so I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and I ask for our Heavenly Father to continue to give you strength and courage.
God Bless
_____________________________
For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he hath established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I the Lord; and none else.
Isaiah 45:18
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/1/2008 4:49:59 PM
|
|
|
kmbmhands
Posts: 13
Joined: 8/1/2008
Status: offline
|
Jesus said its better to cut off your hand to keep you from stealing.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/5/2008 5:06:54 PM
|
|
|
Raptorman
Posts: 112
Joined: 9/21/2005
From: Colorado
Status: offline
|
[Note: most of this had appeared in one of the other threads, but a moderator for some reason transferred the thread, and now I can't find our remarks in it. So, I just wanted to share my remarks about the same subject. That's all.]
For me, pornography has been a huge stumbling block. For any Christian man who wants to worship God but finds his unbridled tendency to lust barging in his path, pornography is a determined dragon. It is hard to resist, difficult to slay, and even if you succeed in "killing" it, this dragon has more leases on life than Jason Vorhees. Inevitably, it will come back and haunt you. Porn may look beautiful to us, but it is a disgusting and malignant tumor that grieves the Holy Spirit and betrays our wives whether we are married in the present or future.
I for one desperately want God to bestow me with a loving and beautiful wife. Even though I am only 21, it gets frustrating beyond all reason and rationality when you have never even had a date at my age, and all your friends are getting married left and right. I would do anything at all, if it could end my lonely singlehood and give me a romantic companion to whom I can fully give myself. But how can I expect or ask for that blessing if I break God's commands with such a vigorous regularity? Why would she join with a man who has not even been able to restrain his own lust, for her sake, and for the pleasure of God?
I would be honored to join in prayer with all of you, that God can help us end this disease in our lives.
_____________________________
"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese." - G.K. Chesterton
"If we valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." - J.R.R. Tolkien
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/7/2008 2:03:31 PM
|
|
|
gmc4Jesus
Posts: 229
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Torrance, California
Status: offline
|
I have read some great responses above and can tell by the topic that there are many who are fighting this battle. Please allow me to pass on some thoughts that I shared with another individual fighting this battle.
1. Would you honestly want to marry one of those girls you are looking at when you are looking at those girls? Then what are you doing looking at them for sexual stimulation?
2. Would you want to be married to a woman who has no self-respect but what she will display her nakedness in a sexually explisit way to anyone who wants to lust after her? Then why are you having sex (masturbating or whatever) with a picture of someone who is not your wife?
3. You don't know anything about this person's personality, whether they are the kind of person you would honestly want a relationship with. Therefore, why are you having sex with their picture or video?
4. If you would look at your wife as being more desirable than any other woman (which is what God teaches) then you will find less interest in looking at other women.
5. The comment to bounce your eyes works good for me. When I see a woman that is attention getting, whether deliberately or not, I don't want to be observed observing what I am tempted to observe. Therefore, I challenge myself to look at something else and remember whose I am (a child of God).
6. I have a wife. If I think I need to see a naked woman, I'll go watch her. She doesn't mind the attention.
7. One more and then I'll quit for now. I determined years ago that I would not ever want to be caught with pornography in my possession. Since the computer age I have added that I would never want you to come to my computer and discover that I had visited a pornographic web site. The solution is to never go there in the first place. I do not know the day of my death, but when it comes, I will not have the time or opportunity to go back and erase all of that stuff I don't want you to find. Therefore, I don't allow my eyes to go where they do not belong or possess stuff I would not want you to find in my affects after I'm gone.
May God's love for you strengthen your love for Him and may that love give you the strength and power to conquer the temptations of lust and walk the rest of your life in integrity, honesty, purity and Godly love.
Do it for Jesus!
_____________________________
Let's talk about Jesus, His life and teachings at the www.gettingtoknowjesus.org Gospel Study Forum.
Home of "Getting To Know Jesus", a complete Bible study on the life and teachings of Jesus.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/10/2008 7:34:02 PM
|
|
|
keeperofpeace
Posts: 11
Joined: 8/10/2008
Status: offline
|
I too have a problem with porn and other nasty habits since my early teens, I'm now 44 yrs old and have been married to the same woman for twenty yrs. It has caused many fights between me and my wife and family. I thank God that my marriage has survived through it. I was not a christian when I began looking at porn and for many many years into my marriage sex and porn was the only thing I thought of day in and day out.
Three years ago a traumatic event caused me to look to God and now I'm a born again believer and have over come many bandages. As a christian you have to understand that your in a battle of spiritual warfare. If Satan can control your thoughts then he has control over your whole body and your actions. I suggest that you establish a pray life and surrender your bandages daily to the Lord and bury your face in the word of God. I still struggle with the bondage of porn and if you fail and miss the mark from time to time remember that we serve a forgiving Lord who will give you the strength to resist the temptations that come before you daily. Bouncing the eyes works for me, When you see an attractive woman on TV, or on the street or anything that causes you to have those thoughts, Rebuke them immediately in the name of Jesus and turn the channel, look away, do what ever you have to and trust in God to give you strength and you will be victorious. Remember, " I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. "
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/15/2008 6:42:45 PM
|
|
|
BaldEagle4Christ
Posts: 7
Joined: 8/15/2008
From: Wisconsin
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: russelp4
quote:
To say that you can't do it is a lie from satan. If you are a Christian you can do it
He is right.
That is a lie from the Devil.
All you do is Throw out thois magazines and focus on your wife if you have one.
If not,I sujest that you ask God for guidence and get in his words and start doing soul serching.
Women are not sex Objects!!!!Tell your self that,because who ever put that in your head is a Lier and wrong...Who could that done thaT!!
< Message edited by BaldEagle4Christ -- 8/15/2008 10:16:45 PM >
_____________________________
Roman 6:23 for the wages of Sin is death,but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord.(Niv)
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/16/2008 8:59:21 AM
|
|
|
BlackCapnHarlock
Posts: 333
Joined: 8/20/2005
Status: offline
|
I had been doing well for a while, just only mental lust. I did watch one porn movie earlier this year, but then the dam started breaking.
1. I was lusting after women left and right in my heart and mind.
2. I went to a porn website last week
3. Last night I watched porn. I started the movie and just then cut it off. I felt dumb, I felt stupid.
It seems that the same stress that hit me in 99 and 2000 when I had my worst bought with porn ever, it seems that I have substituting that for my answers in CHRIST JESUS.
IT's not a mistake I can make again, things are bad right now.
It's either JESUS or bust . . .
_____________________________
Ezekiel 16:6 Eze 16:6 And when I passed by thee, and saw thee polluted in thine own blood, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live; yea, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 9/13/2008 11:11:29 PM
|
|
|
dyluck
Posts: 155
Joined: 9/2/2008
Status: offline
|
This is such a tough subject for us men. I think one of the devils biggest traps for us guys is porn and masturbation.
This is something I have finally overcome in my life. I was addicted to both.
Here are my reasons for doing so:
Matthew 5:28-30 "28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."
Matthew 18:7-9 "7Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come! 8If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 9And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell."
I noticed a couple things here.. the first was in conjuntion to adultery which is a form of sexual immorality.
The second thing is, noticed the body parts noted??? Hand, eye and foot... Hand, well we all know what that is used for in this circumstance... Eye to look at bad stuff and lust. Foot... well I assume foot to bring you to the place where you are going to commit the sin!
It wasn't until Jesus and sin became more apparent to me then anything that I stopped. I have always been a believer, but believer isn't necessarily a Christian. I know it can ruin relationships, it can ruin your social life and even cause problems with relations with your wife or future wife.
The way I look at it here 1. Jesus says "its better to cut off that hand and go into eternity mamed then it is to have your whole body thrown into the fire" This is pretty much saying, change your ways or the habitual sin will lead you into eternal fire. In other words, repent of that sin... turn away.
Honestly, God asks us to lay down are lives for him. He says who are you a slave to? sin which leads to death or obedience, which leads to righteousness. Romans 6:16.
Romans 6:17-18 goes on to say that you obeyed (in context true conversion); therefore you have been set free from sin and become slaves to righteousness.
How is this accomplished? Well we know that we are naturally week as it goes on to say in verse 19... We CANNOT do it on our own but through Jesus. Faith in him... We know that faith without works is dead, therefore because we love Jesus and we are willing to sacrifice the things of this world and the sinful pleasures of it, we repent, turn away and trek forward!
Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight Proverbs 3:5
I will pray for you brothers!!!
You can do anything through Jesus who strengthens you!
Submit to him and his will, and your life WILL change!
Read these versus: John 15:7, John 15:16, James 4:7, 1 John 3:21-22, 1 John 5:13-15 (ask according to his will, I believe giving up sin is according to his will).
Mourn over your sin and may Christ strengthen you in Righteousness!
Believe, have faith, repent (turn away from habitual sin in all aspects of your life "walk in righteousness")!
Brotherly love!
_____________________________
Christian Faith
Being What YOU Are
Web Revenue
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 9/18/2008 5:45:38 PM
|
|
|
willfs
Posts: 348
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline
|
The Plan
by Joe Dallas
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 9/25/2008 11:02:47 PM
|
|
|
rgsoundguy
Posts: 396
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Pottstown, PA
Status: offline
|
I see this thread has been going for well over a year now. I have come to terms with the fact that I am a sex addict specifically with porn. The LORD has given me victory over this through my Celebrate Recovery group. Celebrate Recovery is a Christ centered 12 Step recovery program that many churches across the country are hosting. I got involved in December 2007 and have had great victories as a result. I have built my closest relationships with other men there. I thank God everyday that He brought me to that group.
_____________________________
Albert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That convinces me that our nation is insane because we continually elect republicans and democrats expecting change and get none.
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 9/27/2008 4:57:56 PM
|
|
|
Dan94
Posts: 51
Joined: 9/25/2008
From: Upstate New York
Status: offline
|
Hi men, I'm new to the forum and have been reading the posts in this thread. God came to my aid after 38 years of addiction to porn, He can and will if your completly honest with Him in prayer and desire to be rid of it. My road was a long and bumpy one, during which my marrige was destroyed. I was saved on Oct 1st 1994 and would have thought that was the end to such a secret addiction...but not so, that is how come I beleive I've got something to add and to share with anyone that may be interested. I'm under a time constraint at the moment and can not go into many details, but I'm willing to share if there is still an interest in this on-going thread. I'll check back later..love all in the name of above all names
in Jesus Christ our Lord.
Brother Dan
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 9/27/2008 6:48:33 PM
|
|
|
Marcus.
Posts: 1335
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
this new program may be of some help.
Somebody's Daughter
_____________________________
Blessed is He who comes in the Name of the Lord.
Hosea Project
Care Net
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 10/4/2008 2:57:02 AM
|
|
|
smilindon
Posts: 5
Joined: 10/2/2008
Status: offline
|
Pray Pray Pray. We become slaves to our sin and cannot break the chains alone. The Bible says we will not be tempted more than we can bare. Remember when you are tempted that God will always provide you with a way out. If you are tempted rebuke it in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. And pray steadfastly. God can deliver all. He saved me from a long battle with alcohol after a terrible divorce. I now am drink free. Married to The woman of my dreams. God really does answer prayers. And I know from your Post that you feel a great amount of conviction over this. You are in my prayers. Remember YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS YOU!!!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 10/4/2008 8:48:40 AM
|
|
|
steve7150
Posts: 214
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline
|
All the practical suggestions mentioned on this thread as well as praying often are good suggestions but ultimately it boils down to this simple question.
Is your fellowship with the Lord more important then watching porn?
Because you can't have both so if a intimate relationship with the Lord exceeds your porn lust then this desire will always motivate you to avoid disappointing him.
When you think about watching porn think about Jesus and what he has given us and what is more important to you.
And this process may take time to take hold but if you stumble always confess it to God ASAP and start again.
Every new start is a fresh start and a new opportunity to get it right.
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 10/5/2008 4:04:21 PM
|
|
|
Denny01
Posts: 14
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline
|
I too.....i watch porn and masturbate but cant help it. I really want to stop it. Do i need to do a restitution as instructed by God? I need help.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 10/5/2008 7:40:56 PM
|
|
|
rgsoundguy
Posts: 396
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Pottstown, PA
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Denny01
I too.....i watch porn and masturbate but cant help it. I really want to stop it. Do i need to do a restitution as instructed by God? I need help.
You need to find accountability. Look and see if there is a Celebrate Recovery group that meets in your area. It is a safe place for you to confess your sins and find accountability with other men. By the way, you made a brave step by coming here. I will keep you in my prayers.
_____________________________
Albert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That convinces me that our nation is insane because we continually elect republicans and democrats expecting change and get none.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 10/6/2008 5:01:50 AM
|
|
|
Denny01
Posts: 14
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline
|
Thanks alot.......please do pray for me. God bless you.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 10/6/2008 8:20:19 PM
|
|
|
Dan94
Posts: 51
Joined: 9/25/2008
From: Upstate New York
Status: offline
|
To Denny01 or anyone else that struggles against this personal carnage.
Gods delay in answering your prayers on this subject can not be easily understood. I believe it is different for each individual. It is a powerful addiction, I should know, I speak from experience. This may turn into a long post, so please bare with me.
The physical and pleasurable reward you receive from your body and your mind have a strong tendency to over whelm the spiritual knowledge that it is wrong and damaging to your relationships. Spiritual relationship as well as physical. There are not many women or men that can be or are willing to be as patient with you as is Jesus.
I tried to escape on my own, I used scriptures that speak of immoral thoughts and behaviors. (and there are many) . I berated myself for taking part in Satan's kingdom. I used the sound reason that finding the scenes pleasurable was an active participation in what was being done, and I was contributing money to it, which made it all the worse. Finding and using the so-called free sites (they're not free, they eat your soul and further the destruction) did not ease the guilt.
All this was going on even after I found the Lord and became a Christian in Oct of 94. For the first 3 years of my salvation I stayed pretty clean, with the exception of masturbation (from here on in I'll just use "M" when I refer to it) So lets face the truth, "M" is the main reason to partake in porn. It enhances the experience, even though you know (if your a child of God) that what your looking at is overtly evil. If your a child of God the Holy Spirit will never let you have comfort or peace, but for a period may seem to turn you over to it. But in that time you will know something is not right. You'll become easily irritated at the simplest of things, maybe quick to curse or judge or just be out of sorts spiritually.
I started missing church, not feeling fit to be among the called saints of God. When I did go I put on the church face, but dared not share with anyone the difficult struggle I was going through. Why? because I was a baptised member of the church, part of the church doctrine which I had signed, when I was young and clean, was the strong disapproval of porn and making a declaration that I did not use it. In short I was a coward, it was easier to put on the church face, then to confide in a brother about my short comings. My total amount of years that porn had a grip on my life, including the time I was not saved was 38 years. Ever since I was 15 years old and my friends and me snuck into an x-rated theater, I was hooked. Now unless you believe in miracles and believe God will and still does do them, you might think the rest of my story was due to an emotional moment I had before God or I've built my hope around shifting sand. When deliverance came, I was so over whelmed with joy (because I knew that I was really delivered) that I wrote my pastor a letter, that went as follows:
Dear pastor (blank)
Pastor, I was in the service last Sunday, I was not going to be there, I was certainly tempted not to be there. But the gentle prodding of the Holy Spirit is what got me to attend. Pastor I was saved on October 1st, 1994 by an act of grace and forgiveness, that makes me ashamed to admit that I was entangled in pornography, just typing this sentence is breaking my heart and causing tears to flow freely. In fact while I was in that service I had porn on my home computer, and that was the main reason I was not going to be in the service. I felt unworthy to be among the saints. I know that Satan is the accuser of the brethren, and takes special delight after He sets you up to be accused and would have a valid accusation before the throne of God.
I'm ashamed to admit that I've been a member of the church since the mid 90's. My name can be any man's name who gets captured by such an insidious addiction that hides in the shadows of computer hard drives and cable porn. After that service I went home crying out for forgiveness as I did in the service and erased every trace of the garbage.
But I'm a realist, I have erased it many times before while under the conviction of the Holy Spirit and have been a receiver of grace, mercy and Gods great patience and love to many times to count.
Then what is my point? why waste your valuable time and why have a sincere hope that last Sunday would be the last time I needed to erase filth from my hard drive, not to mention the hard drive of my conscience? The hope is this, I have cried out for deliverance many, many times,..looked up bible verses that I thought would help give me the strength to endure the continuing temptation that sits just a few feet from where I lay my head at night. Among those verses is 1st Thessalonians 4:3 - 5 and I have lived and felt first hand Paul's declaration in Romans chap. 7:15 through 20. Not to mention Peters warning about a pig having been washed, returning to it's filth and a dog to it's own vomit! I wore those verses through my convictions, to ashamed to confide in any man while feeling contempt of self while putting on the church face. Pastor, PLEASE PRAY FOR ME as I advance in this renewed beginning that was brought about in Gods love, grace, mercy, patience and timing.
You see I had prayed many times and thought (but never truly believed) God had answered my prayers for deliverance from something that helped destroy my marriage and family and kept me in bondage for 38 years. I was on the verge of giving up hope, knowing that according to a book I had read, that even pastors struggle and fail to its all to easy access, as you no longer have to sneak out to a dirty book store to get your fix.
Pastor as I started to say at the beginning of this letter, I was going to skip church again last Sunday. It would not have been the first time I stayed away in my secret shame. But the Holy Spirit spoke gently into my heart saying "go I have something for you in today's service". Pastor I wish I could say that it was just one particular statement you made, that gave me the divine awareness of a newly granted power to remain set free and a cherished hope in the same. But it was in the overall content of the message of the many addictions men face and the need to surrender them to the Lordship of Christ. As you were making many valid points I felt the dam break and the tears flowed, I suddenly knew, really knew I was set free when I quietly confessed in solitude my desperate need and willingness to be free. You see I had a sense that all along God was hearing my crying, yes even begging in tears and anguish, that in His time and place I would be set free. I was not so foolish to think His delay meant His approval of the state I was in. Maybe His delay was to make me aware of my nothingness without Him, or cause me to think long and hard before surrendering to the temptation to judge anyone in a sin or fault.
I have much to say pastor on how Satan uses certain traps and strategy to attack and hold someone (yes even someone who loves the Lord Jesus) in such a devious addiction. The wisdom I gained teaches me to have patience with God as He has with me. I have learned other things also that will enable me to help and have compassion on others caught up in addictions, that God may employ in His place or time. I know that porn can be as addicting as coke, alcohol, cigarettes and a host of many such vices, even those that lay just a few feet from where you sleep. I'm aware the same letters on this keyboard that are typing out this thanksgiving to God and to you pastor for being faithful to God in teaching the truth in season and out of season, can also be used to access porn sites. These keys can be used for evil and self destruction or for good.
Pastor in closing I encourage you to keep preaching, even if no one seems to respond...God is at work in His people. This letter of praise to God and encouragement to you is proof. And when the Tempter comes to try to get me to use the computer as a vice instead of a tool. I'll have God, His Word, The Holy Spirit, your prayers, my commitment and this letter as a defense.
In the love of Christ,...Any Man.
Guys I have been walking in victory ever since, and I count it a miracle in the love of God. So please do not give up, reach out, reach up, be completely transparent with Him, be honest with yourself and true to God, and you will have the victory. Sorry this post was so long, but the burning in my heart would not cease until I gave testimony to His timing and His love.
Dan94
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 10/7/2008 11:12:29 AM
|
|
|
Denny01
Posts: 14
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline
|
Hello Sir,
My name is Bro. Dennis. I’m 17 yrs old now and I am a high school graduate. my reason of writing this letter to you is to describe the kind of life I am living as a teen, not pleasing to God and my regrets. (Please Sir, I write also to seek your help.)
I am a Christian but my Christian life is not one that can be written home about; it’s WORTHLESS! Reason is that, since the day I gave my life to Jesus as my Lord and Saviour, and then baptized (Sunday 24th December, 2006) I have been even worst than my former lifestyle. I do immoral things in the sight of God. My ordeal or Confession goes thus:
It was in the year 2005, when my cousin introduced me into The Computer and internet thing. At first, I never had full knowledge of it but it influenced me a lot. This cousin, whom I senior thought me how to browse the internet and check mails, plays games and chat. Then I was 14yrs old and he was 13yrs old. Due to the great influence of games and emails, I never thought of what I was doing. In the long process of time, he then introduced me to watching PORNOGRAPHY on the internet. It so much affected me that I steal my parent’s money and sneaking away to the café with him to watch it; then returning home by 8pm. This continued until I stole my Dad’s money to buy a phone on January 2006 to be precise. He didn’t know and when he asked me of the money to buy a phone came about, I lied that I saved it.
I started using this phone and connected it to the internet again and started watching porn on it. My parents were unaware of this evil act I was doing: though they think im a HOLY SEED. This continued until April 2007 when I started to migrate from porn watching to MASTURBATION. I kept on that act until now. I can’t seem to stop masturbating and watch porn even on the internet. It been a longtime I served God with all my heart…..every time I try to please God, I see myself backsliding to continue in it. Even today, this morning: 7th of October 2008, I masturbated and watched porn at home on my PC. (My Pc is connected to the internet presently).
Please Sir, help me on steps to stop masturbating and watching porn both on the internet and on the TV. It’s getting worse everyday. A month wouldn’t pass by without me committing that act. Imagine 3yrs of watching porn and masturbation as a teen.
I’ll be grateful if my request will be treated accordingly.
THANKS AND GOD BLESS.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 10/7/2008 11:15:59 AM
|
|
|
Denny01
Posts: 14
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline
|
i hate myself.......i wnat to stop really!!!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 10/7/2008 11:23:27 AM
|
|
|
Denny01
Posts: 14
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline
|
God is very angry with me now....i know this.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 10/7/2008 3:01:44 PM
|
|
|
jlc0204
Posts: 4
Joined: 7/31/2008
Status: offline
|
Denny,
I believe it is time to seek counseling. I encourage you to speak to a pastor or local christian counselor. Also, you should probably confess to you parents and ask them earnestly for help.
This is not something you should continue to live with and try to battle on your own. It's obviously not working. And it didn't in my case either.
I am currently finding success, but I know I would not have if I would have continued to fight this sin on my own.
You need major accountability -- removal of cell phone privileges, internet filters (or removal of the whole computer!) and limited access to TV programming.
I also did all these things and continue. I do not have web access in my home. I monitor everything I watch on TV and video.
Check out Pure Life Ministries for helpful, free resources.
You are so young. I'd love to see you get victory from this sin. It has affected me for far too long and I hate to hear of others, especially so young, being challenged with it.
Please, seek help. It will be embarrassing. It will be uncomfortabel. You will feel much shame. You will cry. You will experience all these things. There's no getting around it. But to get the help you need and to be able to deal with this situation it will HAVE to happen.
I will be away from this post for several days. But, I will check back as soon as I can to read any of your replies.
God bless you, Denny.
Ps -- It is actually possible to live without a computer, TV and cell phone. Try reading anthing from Pure Life. It's all good and very helpful.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 10/7/2008 8:11:38 PM
|
|
|
Dan94
Posts: 51
Joined: 9/25/2008
From: Upstate New York
Status: offline
|
Bro. Dennis,
First things first, Do not hate yourself, what your going through God has seen a million or more times. I can tell you from Scripture and from personal experience, that God will not give up on you, so do not give up on yourself. He loves you with an everlasting love.
Wow..17 and your coming to grips with a carnal urge that drives you, seems to reward you, but leaves you feeling guilty, tired and all alone with no one to turn too. The conviction is from God and proof that He is still at work. Accusation is from Satan who has led many astray with this type of addiction.
The posts you have read so far are ALL good advice from those who are struggling or have been able to turn their backs successfully on Satan and one of his devices to trip up Christian and non Christian alike. His ultimate goal is to separate you from your faith in Jesus. One of His lies is that God hates you, or has turned His back on you. Another lie that seems so believable is that your not harming nobody. That if you release the carnal urge through "M" while looking at porn, then your not out there trying to get sexually involved with another person. But it often leads to that, when the image of what your witnessing, no longer satisfies.
It seems to be embarrassing to seek help, from clergy, parents or youth counselors. That why I hid, it's not like I was well known in my church or held a ministry position, but reaching out...I almost did but shrunk back. I guess now, looking back, Satan used my pride and disguised it as embarrassment.
My first advice is pray, I mean really pray, do not pray like a prayer you may have heard before, mimic no one. Talk to God as He were a trusted Friend, I mean REALLY TRUSTED FRIEND, because He is. But you do not approach Him as if He were a common buddy who is just as confused as you are. God is Holy but compassionate beyond my ability to explain, mere words can not explain. Be open, tell Him why (in your own words) you find porn so captivating. I mean, He knows, but He expects complete honesty from you. Cry out to Him, then listen to that still small voice from within your repenting heart. Keep knocking until you get an answer, God may wait awhile to see how serious you are about serving Him and not yourself. DO NOT take His delay as a sign of His approval (I speak from experience) or that He does not care, or has no opinion on what you look at. These are all traps of Satan and they sound so appealing because they appeal to your flesh. Satan always has a landing zone on Christians..Its their flesh and the allure of masturbation to enhance what our eyes are taking in.
God may instruct you to seek consultation from a youth pastor or a trusted Christian friend. Do not seek advice from a non Christian, they have a tendency to make light of your struggle and are open to the worlds philosophy. As for the masturbating part and believe me it is a big part. Seek God on that also, He knows all that's involved and I'm not in the camp that can say for sure with 100% certainty that God does not allow for that in some way, it's personal for each man and I will not be a judge, the decision on that belongs before the Lord and I have no right to play the part of another mans conscience. God the Holy Spirit will guide each man in an answer to that and I still have an open heart for Him to do so with me.
But one thing is for certain, no taking part and thus approving in Satan's kingdom of porn and the sort of mutations of one sexuality that goes with it. God will deliver you through one of many ways, God knows which way is best suited for you...but above all pray with certainty you are being heard and the sincerity of knowing you can not do it without Him...He gets ALL the glory no matter how you are delivered.
I pray in the Name of Jesus that this advice will help you, I and others are also praying for you, your not facing this alone.
Dan94
_____________________________
Born Again into true life on Oct.1,1994
|
|
| | |
Forum Tools
Printable Version
