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... and I'll call you back.

 
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... and I'll call you back. - 9/8/2008 12:40:39 AM   
OneJohn410


Posts: 1526
Joined: 6/1/2008
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Hello She Sayers,

There is a feature that plays a close second to it, the voicemail option of the cell phone, yet for the most part, the answering machine of the residential phone line still takes the #1 spot for me as the most useless of devices to communicate to you all. Maybe it lets you just watch TV and screen your calls, choosing who to respond to and who not to. Maybe it has to be this way because you are being harrassed by someone else calling you all the time, and you keep that to yourself.

None of that changes the message the He Says callee hears- that by following your request for information from me, for example, that you will call me back. Sometimes I leave the reply time open ended- when you get a chance, or some time before X. When it's not my nature to become harrassing, or to scold- 'why haven't you called me back?'. Should I choose to just drop communication with you, then the next time we see each other I may hear 'How are you? I haven't heard from you in forever!' etc. etc.

Technology is striving to make instant communication a reality, and at the same time make some actual phone conversations obsolete... email, texting, cell phone, voicemail.

Do you believe telephone courtesy is being lost, as I do, and technology making it easier for you to not have to say I'm upset with you and don't care to talk to you anytime soon? How do your prioritize your communications with the guys? Do you just forget about your answering machine these days? It may be easy for guys to just keep to themselves and be very quiet, and yet answering machine rejection to me stings more than any 'can I call you back? I've got to ____________ reason for not talking right then and there'.

Thank you for your thoughtful and sensitive responses.

OneJohn410

_____________________________

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
Post #: 1
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/8/2008 10:41:13 AM   
jesuschick247


Posts: 2886
Status: offline
Wow, this is a really good question! I also hate talking to the answering machine and try not to make people talk to mine. If I do let it pick up it is normally because I can't get to it right away, but I will call them back as soon as I get a chance. Most generally though, I will pick up and tell them why I can't talk right then, college homework, etc..., and offer to call him back when I get done. The only exception I have ever made to that rule is when one guy from church made it very clear that he liked me, and wasn't going to take no for an answer. I explained that I did not share his feelings and just wanted to be friends, but he continued to call me 3-5 times a day.(can you say stalker? ) That is the only time I have ever sent someone to my voicemail! After 25 times, he finally got the hint?! But, in general I personally think the girl shouldn't make you wait more than a day to call you back and explain the reason she didn't answer was not because she didn't want to talk to you, but because she was busy. Any longer than that and it's just kind of rude!

_____________________________

"The memories erased...Baby, that's the BEAUTY of GRACE!"

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, rather than a second-rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland
Post #: 2
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/8/2008 8:10:47 PM   
rgod


Posts: 1776
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OneJohn410

Do you believe telephone courtesy is being lost, as I do, and technology making it easier for you to not have to say I'm upset with you and don't care to talk to you anytime soon? How do your prioritize your communications with the guys? Do you just forget about your answering machine these days? It may be easy for guys to just keep to themselves and be very quiet, and yet answering machine rejection to me stings more than any 'can I call you back? I've got to ____________ reason for not talking right then and there'.



Yes, I think that technology makes it easier to not communicate if you don't want to. I think that sometimes this is good if someone suddenly makes you uneasy or feel unsafe. But, if you are using it just because you are chicken to discuss something ... well I think that is something different altogether. I can't say that I prioritize my communications with people. I used to let days go by before I'd give someone a call back. But now, I try to call people back the same day or at least within 24 hours if I'm busy (even if it is just a text message to let them know that I'll call them later). I used to work at a job where I couldn't get phone calls and I wasn't allowed to use my cell. So if people called me, they would always get the answering machine. Also, I sometimes can't get my cell phone when it rings (it is forever falling down into the bottom of my bag). So it will go to voice mail. When I didn't use my cell phone much, I didn't check my messages often - so people would call and I wouldn't realize it until days later. I'm horrible! For a while, email was the most reliable form of communciation for me.

If you meet a girl and call her and you don't hear from her after a reasonable period of time (maybe a couple of days), try to call her again. She might just be busy (if that happens to me, I might hear a message, mean to call the person back, but get sidetracked by something very pressing). But a woman who is interested will definitely call you back - even if it isn't right away. A woman who is not interested really should call you back and at least let you know what is going on - after all it is only fair. A lot of women won't though because they don't want to give a guy bad news or deal with confrontation. Or they might be considering the guy, thinking it over. Either way, you have to decide what is best for you, pray about it, and move on when appropriate.

The woman for you though will definitely call you back. You won't have to deal too much with the whole technology thing either because she'll look forward to talking with you. It really sucks, and I feel for you. But maybe if you look at the women who don't call back as Ms. Wrongs on your way to Mrs. Right it might hurt a *little* less.
Post #: 3
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/11/2008 10:30:45 PM   
ebony101


Posts: 1077
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
Status: offline
I've only used modern technology to avoid a person once and that was for a guy who wouldn't take no for an answer - he threatened to bother me everyday for me to take him back. So I avoided his calls - I'm sure that he got the message.

If a girl doesn't call you back, then she's not the girl for you. If a girl was attracted or interested in you ... she'd definitely call you back. And she wouldn't let you go to voicemail either, unless she really wasn't at home.

_____________________________

'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
Post #: 4
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/12/2008 11:42:53 PM   
Prairiehiker


Posts: 3277
Status: online
The reality of it is the more we find mediums of communications, the more we find ways to display our discourteous behaviour. There's not an increase of people displaying bad communication skills; there's just so many ways of showing it. For instance, if you're interested in me, you might call me, then email me, text message me, even send me a snail mail. If I'm the type of person not to reply to unwanted attention from a guy, I probably won't respond to any of them. Then, you'll assume that it's the communication device that we have now that's making this confusing for you, when in reality, it's just me, not the phone/voicemail/email. So, in the past, where you can only send mail, or leave a voicemail, there were only one option to be rude to you. But now that you can communicate with me in so many ways, there's so many ways I can reject you by not responding to you.

But if I'm the type of person who would outright reject you, I'd reply to whatever form of communication you send once, then, block you out of my universe. Get it the first time, and you won't have to feel rejected again the second time. Therefore, the communication device shouldn't be blame. It's you not being able to decipher a very clear message message.

Know what I mean?

_____________________________

Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
Post #: 5
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/13/2008 9:19:24 AM   
sudden


Posts: 167
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
Dear OneJohn:

Well, well, well - it is discouraging to be rejected in this manner.

While one may consider it rude to not reply to a voice mail message there is no obligation on the part of the receiver of such message to do so. It is strictly at their pleasure and if they are rejecting you, are you going to feel any better when they tell you so in person?

If you leave one message and they don't reply - one may be entitled to think that the message was accidently erased or message taken by another member of household and not passed along but if it's twice...to me it would be obvious that they do not wish to communicate. Most adults will pick up on that.

Yours for something to chaw on,

Sudden

_____________________________

I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
Post #: 6
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/16/2008 7:50:04 PM   
Focusing


Posts: 6009
Status: offline
Well, I will let calls go to voice mail if I am currently on the phone. But, in all honesty, the only times I choose to intentionally not answer the phone are (1) if I am at work and just cannot talk right then or (2) if it's someone who I know I will be on the phone with for a long time and just don't have time time (but I do call back as soon as I can).

As far as my guy ... the only time it isn't answered is if there is no possible way I can answer the phone without leaping a tall building in a single bound!!

_____________________________

Instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend. That would be giving as the angels give.
Post #: 7
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/17/2008 2:17:56 AM   
ebony101


Posts: 1077
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focusing
As far as my guy ... the only time it isn't answered is if there is no possible way I can answer the phone without leaping a tall building in a single bound!!


I hear you sister!

_____________________________

'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
Post #: 8
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/19/2008 11:12:32 AM   
OneJohn410


Posts: 1526
Joined: 6/1/2008
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Whoops! I've gotten behind in responding to my post!
Did you get any kind of reply from me when you responded that said I would reply as soon as I was able?

Thanks, Jesuschick247. That's encouraging to hear, because not all calls from guys are Prince Charming want-to-bes, and you will surely be on the way to meeting that elusive guy by courteous reply.

Thanks, Rgod. This is not an easy thing to do, like you say, with all the ways someone can try to say something to you. Like you suggest, for someone seeking a date, it can cause some competition... well, I've left two calls on Jane's machine, and two on Heather's, and two on Cindy's... let's just see who calls back first.

Hey, Ebony101. I'm not super-impressed with my OP, but that's ok. Let's just say we're going to a mutual friend's house (Walle) for a party, and I call asking you if you know anything about making spinach dip the day before the party. I get your answering machine, listen to your message that ends ... and I'll call you back... and I don't hear from you in your usual timely manner. Or from Jane, Heather, or Cindy. And Mom is out until 9 with a Bible study, and my sister has misplaced her recipe. There, I go to the internet and those recipes look terrible. I put something together for the party, and go, and Heather says hey, I haven't seen you (being me) in forever! How are you? Cindy and Jane aren't there, and you show up a little late with some spinach dip and cornchips, set down by my fruit plate. Oh! The horrors! Seriously though, what happened to how easy it is to get in touch with people when I needed to? This is a mighty unusual example, sure, but is what I was trying to hint at in the OP.

Hi, Prariehiker. I'm trying to put together some spinach dip for Walle's party tomorrow. Do you know anything about making this? Please give me a call. Thanks! OneJohn410... .
If I leave that on your answering machine, which tells me you'll call me back for having left you the needed info, a day before the party, well sure, you can be out of town and did not hear the message in time. Or you can't find your recipe and don't want to admit it. The thing of it is, the caller hears a promise, and then no reply until it's too late. Well, I'm not giving him my favorite recipie for that! Hmph! Rejection! Hoorah! (arm pumping, playing to the roaring crowd). My how this thread is unravelling.

Hi, Sudden. Yep, my OP failed to deliver. If your answering machine promises a return call, you suggest not to take that truthfully at all, but merely as words words? Were you at Walle's party, I don't believe I'd insist you try my friend's spinach dip, and then apply the dip all over your nose and face with the chip. That's not my style, and I do believe you might be in the Army reserves, or grew up on the farm where disputes were handled in well-fought fist fights, even for the ladies?

Thanks, Focusing. I will have to remember to call you early on for help with party stuff. Either that, or just keep my mouth shut and get a bag of crunchy Cheetos. Still, a guy that puts together munchies for a party has a little intrigue about him?

Sorry to leave y'all waiting for such wonderful replies.

_____________________________

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
Post #: 9
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/19/2008 11:34:42 AM   
Focusing


Posts: 6009
Status: offline
quote:

Thanks, Focusing. I will have to remember to call you early on for help with party stuff. Either that, or just keep my mouth shut and get a bag of crunchy Cheetos. Still, a guy that puts together munchies for a party has a little intrigue about him?

A guy that can remember that he needs to prepare for a party is most certainly impressive!

_____________________________

Instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend. That would be giving as the angels give.
Post #: 10
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/27/2008 2:11:38 AM   
OneJohn410


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Joined: 6/1/2008
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What's really fun is when the hostess scrapes everything off the plate when you aren't looking and you leave with a feeling it was really good stuff! Especially when such things are washed before departing.

_____________________________

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
Post #: 11
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/27/2008 12:08:35 PM   
Focusing


Posts: 6009
Status: offline
LOL ... then she is a sweetheart!

_____________________________

Instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend. That would be giving as the angels give.
Post #: 12
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/28/2008 12:19:19 AM   
Prairiehiker


Posts: 3277
Status: online
quote:

Hi, Prariehiker. I'm trying to put together some spinach dip for Walle's party tomorrow. Do you know anything about making this? Please give me a call. Thanks! OneJohn410... .
If I leave that on your answering machine, which tells me you'll call me back for having left you the needed info, a day before the party, well sure, you can be out of town and did not hear the message in time. Or you can't find your recipe and don't want to admit it. The thing of it is, the caller hears a promise, and then no reply until it's too late. Well, I'm not giving him my favorite recipie for that! Hmph! Rejection! Hoorah! (arm pumping, playing to the roaring crowd). My how this thread is unravelling.


If you were to call me about a recipe, that shows how little you know me...because I'm usually the last person you'd call for a recipe, if you truly know me and my culinary abilities...or lack thereof....LOL. And even if did know how to put together a mean spinach dip recipe, if you're going to flip out about such an issue which you can easily get from your aunt Sally, then, what does that say about you? Hmmm...I might start thinking that you're really not calling about a recipe...and you might have some hidden agenda...and if I don't like what it I think it is, better that you take my non response as a rejection, because it probably is........

Now, if it's a different issue that involves a more serious question than a recipe, then, I stand by my advice. Call once, you don't hear within a week...dump the *insert any name you want to call the poor, insufferable jerk!*; then pray. If some men will swim through shark infested waters to get to me, he should be able to call me back even in his death bed...or at least contact me through mental telepathy... LOL. You know what I mean....

_____________________________

Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
Post #: 13
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/29/2008 9:08:34 PM   
sudden


Posts: 167
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OneJohn410

Hi, Sudden. Yep, my OP failed to deliver. If your answering machine promises a return call, you suggest not to take that truthfully at all, but merely as words words? Were you at Walle's party, I don't believe I'd insist you try my friend's spinach dip, and then apply the dip all over your nose and face with the chip. That's not my style, and I do believe you might be in the Army reserves, or grew up on the farm where disputes were handled in well-fought fist fights, even for the ladies?



Onejawn410:

I jist luv them biblikal names but I am wunderin howdjya no whare I grewded up? You ran into my three-eyed brother, didn't yas?

I rite this letter to u to thank ye fir the glory-us dip that I is still lickin' offa ma face! It is deeeeeeelishus!

As to yer comments bud, them is fightin' words! Put yer dooks up! (Sudden kicks furiously at the razor wire with her steel-towed army boots!)

Yers fer a hootnanny after the fisstykuff of corse, (or is it of corpse)?

Sudden

_____________________________

I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
Post #: 14
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/29/2008 11:12:39 PM   
shemaromans

 

Posts: 3750
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: offline
OneJohn410, when men start calling me, I'll answer your questions.

I've never really thought about this, so what follows is more of a stream of consciousness brainstorming of ideas--subject to change after further reflection. :)

Technology in general is one factor in modern society that's making niceties and manners less abundant, less appreciated. I think it's emergence coincides with the decline in truth as the backbone of our moral fabric. We've got relativism--we've got technology--and we can hide behind both of them.

What am I saying? (Good question, shema.)

Our word used to mean something. For many, it no longer does. In the past, it was honorable to speak the truth about how you felt and where you stood in relation to another individual (hopefully in a polite manner, of course). These days, anything goes as long as no one's hurt. It's all about not hurting others as we pursue our happiness. If someone can hide behind the convenience of communication, then they don't have to be truthful and can also avoid hurting someone.

The irony apparent is that the hurt can actually intensify.

My mom often comments that "so and so didn't send a thank you card" after receiving a wedding gift or something along those lines. I used to think that she was being a little on the judgmental side, but I've realized that she simply rues the loss of common courtesy and etiquette.

My dad always disliked how some people would never come right out and say that they didn't want to do something. They would say "yes" and then back out at a later time. His point? Say what you mean and mean what you say.

If a woman doesn't return your call (excepting emergencies or severe absentmindedness), then something's just not right either with her character or her insecurities or something about her.

Am I anywhere close to answering your questions? Kind of all over the place...(and I didn't check my spelling either!)

_____________________________

"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
Post #: 15
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/30/2008 12:23:07 AM   
OneJohn410


Posts: 1526
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

quote:

Hi, Prariehiker. I'm trying to put together some spinach dip for Walle's party tomorrow. Do you know anything about making this? Please give me a call. Thanks! OneJohn410... .
If I leave that on your answering machine, which tells me you'll call me back for having left you the needed info, a day before the party, well sure, you can be out of town and did not hear the message in time. Or you can't find your recipe and don't want to admit it. The thing of it is, the caller hears a promise, and then no reply until it's too late. Well, I'm not giving him my favorite recipie for that! Hmph! Rejection! Hoorah! (arm pumping, playing to the roaring crowd). My how this thread is unravelling.


If you were to call me about a recipe, that shows how little you know me...because I'm usually the last person you'd call for a recipe, if you truly know me and my culinary abilities...or lack thereof....LOL. And even if did know how to put together a mean spinach dip recipe, if you're going to flip out about such an issue which you can easily get from your aunt Sally, then, what does that say about you? Hmmm...I might start thinking that you're really not calling about a recipe...and you might have some hidden agenda...and if I don't like what it I think it is, better that you take my non response as a rejection, because it probably is........

Now, if it's a different issue that involves a more serious question than a recipe, then, I stand by my advice. Call once, you don't hear within a week...dump the *insert any name you want to call the poor, insufferable jerk!*; then pray. If some men will swim through shark infested waters to get to me, he should be able to call me back even in his death bed...or at least contact me through mental telepathy... LOL. You know what I mean....


Thanks!
(Note to self- call her only on her cell phone well after sunrise with a clear trajectory to the mountains- she's out camping. P.S. She'll probably only have her camping cookbook with her.)

_____________________________

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
Post #: 16
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/30/2008 12:30:39 AM   
OneJohn410


Posts: 1526
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sudden

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneJohn410

Hi, Sudden. Yep, my OP failed to deliver. If your answering machine promises a return call, you suggest not to take that truthfully at all, but merely as words words? Were you at Walle's party, I don't believe I'd insist you try my friend's spinach dip, and then apply the dip all over your nose and face with the chip. That's not my style, and I do believe you might be in the Army reserves, or grew up on the farm where disputes were handled in well-fought fist fights, even for the ladies?



Onejawn410:

I jist luv them biblikal names but I am wunderin howdjya no whare I grewded up? You ran into my three-eyed brother, didn't yas?

I rite this letter to u to thank ye fir the glory-us dip that I is still lickin' offa ma face! It is deeeeeeelishus!

As to yer comments bud, them is fightin' words! Put yer dooks up! (Sudden kicks furiously at the razor wire with her steel-towed army boots!)

Yers fer a hootnanny after the fisstykuff of corse, (or is it of corpse)?

Sudden

Beeeee-yewtiful post! LOL, not quite a ROFLOL though.

(Note to self- likes to eat off her face... interesting. Razor-wire toads? Would sell recipie for a hootnanny preceeded by a fissy/kuff. Wiki these words.)

_____________________________

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
Post #: 17
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/30/2008 1:13:20 AM   
OneJohn410


Posts: 1526
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: offline
Well, I'm blessed that one called you, that I could swap posts with you.

quote:

We've got relativism--we've got technology--and we can hide behind both of them.


Preach it, sister, preach it!

quote:

These days, anything goes as long as no one's hurt. It's all about not hurting others as we pursue our happiness.


Right. Not to offend anyone, but I just don't like your type much, and I'm sorry if that bothers you, because I'm not talking about you. So you and I have no hard feelings, okay?

There's so many ways to be in communication with someone else, including those walkie-talkie phones that will beep once, and then there's the voice of someone three hours away wanting to talk. Caller ID stilll exists. Put a flag on someone's email addressl, and it will go straight to the suspect mail, or be automatically rejected/deleted.

On the flip side, the answering machine owner doesn't have ten minutes of message to work with. That is, she can't say, "Hi! If this is Alberto, Brian, Chad, Dwight, Eugene, Frank, George, Hayworth, Istanbul, Jack, Kelly, Luis, Manfreid, Nonesuch, Oscar, Phillip, Quigley, Roberto, Shalamar, Theo, Umbawumba, Victor, Wiley, Xavier, Yosemite, or Zulu then you are just wasting your time, and I'll call you back on the 12th of Never. Otherwise, leave me a message and I'll call you back. I do not share recipes. Never have, never will. Momma's favorites are my favorites, and we're keeping them in the family all for us, thank you. Don't even think of asking for her favorite spinach dip recipe."

There's just not that much time to leave something like that (plus she'd get more and more furious as she went along, or die laughing hysterically before she could get there).

It's a safe statement that not every guy that may try to call one of you She Sayers is trying to set up a meeting in which he might propose the two of you get married, or if that's too sudden, simply go out for an evening and try to get to know you better. ... However , and I think this is what I was trying to say so long ago... if his call is not returned until four days later, or never is, and he's greated with 'Hey, OneJohn410, I haven't seen you in forever. How are you doing?' the next time you see him, he could still be thinking about what he had hoped to talk with you about four days ago, and thus- you don't get much of a reception. Maybe guys don't have such an easy time with talking about things. Maybe you have just experienced the supreme effort of the male ego when someone calls you asking for a spinach dip recipe, even. That's a scary thought, and a cheesy example, and I'm not saying I'm that shy at all. Ah deeeclare, take yer haytread uv tawkin to dem answearing machinations, times it a go or ten, and tink daht dere mite bee wuht dat po guy be goin true tawkin to yer machination nex tiemuh, kay?

Thanks y'all!
OneJohn410

_____________________________

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
Post #: 18
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/30/2008 6:02:31 PM   
Prairiehiker


Posts: 3277
Status: online
quote:

Thanks!
(Note to self- call her only on her cell phone well after sunrise with a clear trajectory to the mountains- she's out camping. P.S. She'll probably only have her camping cookbook with her.)


But Dahlin', you know you can call me anytime....

What cookbook....when I'm out camping, it's roadkill for breakfast, lunch and dinner, lol.

(just trying to live up to my "half redneck, half southern belle" persona, lol.

< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 9/30/2008 8:01:40 PM >


_____________________________

Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
Post #: 19
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/30/2008 6:11:56 PM   
shemaromans

 

Posts: 3750
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OneJohn410
quote:

These days, anything goes as long as no one's hurt. It's all about not hurting others as we pursue our happiness.


Right. Not to offend anyone, but I just don't like your type much, and I'm sorry if that bothers you, because I'm not talking about you. So you and I have no hard feelings, okay?

It doesn't bother me at all. I'm not that type, and there are no hard feelings. :) When I used the word "we" above, I was referring to society in general, not individuals in particular.


quote:

It's a safe statement that not every guy that may try to call one of you She Sayers is trying to set up a meeting in which he might propose the two of you get married, or if that's too sudden, simply go out for an evening and try to get to know you better. ... However , and I think this is what I was trying to say so long ago... if his call is not returned until four days later, or never is, and he's greated with 'Hey, OneJohn410, I haven't seen you in forever. How are you doing?' the next time you see him, he could still be thinking about what he had hoped to talk with you about four days ago, and thus- you don't get much of a reception. Maybe guys don't have such an easy time with talking about things. Maybe you have just experienced the supreme effort of the male ego when someone calls you asking for a spinach dip recipe, even. That's a scary thought, and a cheesy example, and I'm not saying I'm that shy at all. Ah deeeclare, take yer haytread uv tawkin to dem answearing machinations, times it a go or ten, and tink daht dere mite bee wuht dat po guy be goin true tawkin to yer machination nex tiemuh, kay?

For some reason, this reminds me of when a man will say that he'll call and never does. So, this behavior appears to be on the part of both men and women (not all--just some)...

Thank you for explaining the male ego a bit. It's a cryptic puzzle that's a tough nut to crack (sorry for the mixed metaphor!).

For what it's worth, some women really might have a good excuse. They really could be too busy to return the phone call...Or they could finally have the time to return the phone call and it's too late in the evening.

Here's a timely example from my life. My dad went to Heaven last year. Since then, there are many times that I just don't have the energy or inclination to answer the phone or call my friends. A week will pass and then I'll remember that I was supposed to return a phone call. It makes me feel like a rotten friend, but my friends have assured me that they understand. I can only trust that they're being honest with me.

That's an example on the more extreme side, though. Most people don't have bereavement brain. (And I admit that there's some selfishness driving my choice to not reach out)

On the whole, though, I think that both men and women should extend the courtesy of a return phone call--grief or not. (I'm feeling convicted!! )

Questions:
Is this thread about phone calls with a romantic purpose or about basic, general, friendly calls? Both?

Do you or have you ever called a second time after a "no response" from the woman just to see if maybe her electricity was out or she was out of town for a few days or something?

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"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
Post #: 20
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 9/30/2008 10:27:04 PM   
OneJohn410


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quote:

Questions:
Is this thread about phone calls with a romantic purpose or about basic, general, friendly calls? Both?

Do you or have you ever called a second time after a "no response" from the woman just to see if maybe her electricity was out or she was out of town for a few days or something?


Hey Shemaromans,
This thread is on how the answering machine is used, and at the time was a kind of personal grump I had going whereas messages I'd leave would go unanswered, followed by courteous conversation starters that glossed right over everything.

Sometimes I call back a second time, or the following day, but I rarely do any investigative work trying to learn of her whereabouts.

Thanks for your reply!
OneJohn410

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For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
Post #: 21
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 10/4/2008 7:12:30 PM   
spunky-gal


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Just for the record, my answering machine message doesn't say that I'll call you back... but I typically do if the message warrants it.

And about the spinach dip question... if you leave a message on my answering machine and want a call back that same night, it would be a good idea to tell me how late it's OK to call.

-spunky
Post #: 22
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 10/5/2008 2:19:10 AM   
OneJohn410


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Joined: 6/1/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spunky-gal

Just for the record, my answering machine message doesn't say that I'll call you back... but I typically do if the message warrants it.

And about the spinach dip question... if you leave a message on my answering machine and want a call back that same night, it would be a good idea to tell me how late it's OK to call.

-spunky


I know I'd try, but as of late I get real sentimental talking to those little machines... even the ones that shut off on me earlier than my usual time because they quit 'hearing' me. For all I know, you have trained your machine who to listen to and who to reject as soon as possible. Then you just have a small cloth nearby you keep it well dusted with, and never punch its buttons hard, etc.

Love the avatar btw!

OneJohn410

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For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
Post #: 23
RE: ... and I'll call you back. - 10/5/2008 7:42:54 PM   
WhiteRoseBlessings


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Hey Spunky!




Carl - I have been following this thread from its inception.

I no longer have a cell phone; but when I did, my outgoing message did say, ". . . and I'll return your call when I can . . ."

It also said, " . . . unless you're a solicitor; in which case, I won't return your call at all."
(My cell phone used to be tied to my previous landline, which also served as a business line; hence explaining why so many solicitors called that number).

My landline's outgoing message currently does say, ". . . and I'll return your call as soon as I can" (with no exceptions noted).

However, I have a private number, and I am VERY particular about who I give my phone number to; so if someone calls and leaves a message asking me to return the call, I will.




Having said that, it may not be as timely as the caller would like. A couple of the facto