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Giving a baby up for adoption - 2/25/2010 10:45:29 PM
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PitaKat
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From: Eastern WA
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I know a couple who were grandparents, their oldest child was in her early 30s and their youngest was a teenager, and this couple got pregnant. They were NOT happy about it, they thought they were done having/raising kids (they could see the light at the end of the tunnel! lol!). Someone in the church made the suggestion that they give the baby up for adoption. The couple ultimately decided to keep and raise the baby.
Is it unethical for a married couple to give a child up for adoption soley because they don't want kids, or they don't want any more kids? Do you think there are any situations where it IS ethical for a married couple to give up a baby for adoption?
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 2/25/2010 10:59:44 PM
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MrFribbles
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quote:
Is it unethical for a married couple to give a child up for adoption soley because they don't want kids, or they don't want any more kids?
If that un-want means they won't be suitable parents, I would say it would be unethical for them to NOT give the child up for adoption.
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 2/25/2010 11:24:31 PM
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solo_soprano24
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MrFribbles
quote:
Is it unethical for a married couple to give a child up for adoption soley because they don't want kids, or they don't want any more kids?
If that un-want means they won't be suitable parents, I would say it would be unethical for them to NOT give the child up for adoption.
I agree. I wouldn't tell anyone to keep a baby that they really just don't want at all; I don't believe in using kids to teach parents a lesson or how to learn to love kids or whatever else. I'd rather someone just admit that they don't want the baby and give it up if that's the way the feel. (I don't think it's unethical; not everyone is meant to have kids, and not everyone wants them. I find nothing wrong with that, but I believe in doing the best thing for the child. Sometimes that means going to another family.)
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 2/27/2010 7:32:34 PM
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litfire2000
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano24
quote:
ORIGINAL: MrFribbles
quote:
Is it unethical for a married couple to give a child up for adoption soley because they don't want kids, or they don't want any more kids?
If that un-want means they won't be suitable parents, I would say it would be unethical for them to NOT give the child up for adoption.
I agree. I wouldn't tell anyone to keep a baby that they really just don't want at all; I don't believe in using kids to teach parents a lesson or how to learn to love kids or whatever else. I'd rather someone just admit that they don't want the baby and give it up if that's the way the feel. (I don't think it's unethical; not everyone is meant to have kids, and not everyone wants them. I find nothing wrong with that, but I believe in doing the best thing for the child. Sometimes that means going to another family.)
Much agreed...many unwanted children are mentally, physically, emotionally (or a combination of these) mis-treated or abused...adoption would be the much better choice in these circumstances.
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 2/28/2010 12:42:03 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 2742
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PitaKat
Is it unethical for a married couple to give a child up for adoption soley because they don't want kids, or they don't want any more kids?
This raised a red flag for me, as the Bible tells us God is the one who gives us conception. So if a couple are given conception it's part of their "life story" of what they do on earth with what God gives them.
In the sovereignty of God, some people go through wars or earthquakes or martyrdom or disease or have an easy life; they all are called to respond to God in obedience and faith inspite of circumstances. To some of them, God gives children.
If someone were so calloused that they would rather "be free" than take a baby, maybe it would be better for a baby to be given to an adoptive Christian couple.
I can see that this couple got rocked back on their heels with the unexpected, and sometimes it takes us time to get our balance when God throws a curve ball. I'm glad they decided to keep it; God means children as a blessing and they will be blessed.
My BIL was an "oopsie" much later in his parents' lives, and he was definitely the pick of the litter.  He's a wonderful Christian man who loves his family and the people around him. He took care of his parents in their last years and his MIL also.
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 2/28/2010 10:28:15 PM
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stampinlady
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Wouldn't it be wise to have a vasectomy or have your tubes tided if you don't want children? I don't get why you would take the chance of getting pregnant. (not you Harvie, just couples in general?
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 3/1/2010 10:37:38 AM
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heremainsfaithful
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You probably don't even want to go there stampinlady, but I will say that I have had my tubes tied and there is no doubt in my mind that is was fine. It was a thoughtful and prayed through decision. In fact, when they did the surgery, they found two very dangerous tumors that might not have been found otherwise. If by some "fluke" I became pregnant anyway, I would assume God must have REALLY wanted me to have that baby 
Outside of true abortion, decisions about children are between God, my DH, and me.....period.
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 3/1/2010 5:02:45 PM
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Crushmaster
Posts: 483
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From: The South, In The Good Ol' U.S. of A.
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quote:
PitaKat
I know a couple who were grandparents, their oldest child was in her early 30s and their youngest was a teenager, and this couple got pregnant. They were NOT happy about it, they thought they were done having/raising kids (they could see the light at the end of the tunnel! lol!). Someone in the church made the suggestion that they give the baby up for adoption. The couple ultimately decided to keep and raise the baby.
Is it unethical for a married couple to give a child up for adoption soley because they don't want kids, or they don't want any more kids? Do you think there are any situations where it IS ethical for a married couple to give up a baby for adoption?
I would say yes, it is. It's disturbing to me that any parent/parents would want to give up their child for adoption. After all, Biblically speaking, part of a Christian man and woman being married is to have and raise godly children.
God bless,
Crushmaster.
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 3/2/2010 3:55:10 AM
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GodsMusic
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From: Arkansas
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PitaKat
Someone in the church made the suggestion that they give the baby up for adoption.
This is almost the saddest part of this story. Ungodly and unloving council coming from within the Church.
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 3/2/2010 10:44:00 AM
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heremainsfaithful
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There is no scripture condemning adoption or the giving up of a child for adoption. In fact, God's Word tells us that as Christians we have the spirit of adoption. As an adopted person, I can tell you that I am thankful for the very UNselfish decision my biological mother made. I am the daughter of the parents who raised me, plain and simple. No, I do not share their DNA. But I AM their daughter. My feeling is that if one doesn't have a clear and definitive scriptural basis for a negative view, one should exercise caution in harshly expressing it.
_____________________________
Jer. 29:11, II Tim. 2:13, Jude 24, 25
https://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/bookdisplay.aspx?bookid=58896
Eihstein's IQ may be higher than mine, but God's IQ is higher than anyone's.
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 3/6/2010 3:11:49 AM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 1230
Joined: 11/28/2005
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quote:
Is it unethical for a married couple to give a child up for adoption soley because they don't want kids, or they don't want any more kids? Do you think there are any situations where it IS ethical for a married couple to give up a baby for adoption?
*I don't think so... a good friend of mine was given up for adoption by his parents(a married couple) - they had 15 children and being very poor they found a loving Christian couple to adopt their baby and he turned out well.
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 3/6/2010 5:25:57 PM
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rcjames
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From: Oklahoma
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano24
I mean years down the road. Sometimes people feel sure at 20, but at 30-40 they wish they wouldn't have had that vasectomy or ligation. :)
Most of the vasectomies and ligations that are preformed today are reversable.
Thanks
RC
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 3/6/2010 6:53:05 PM
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solo_soprano24
Posts: 1805
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rcjames
quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano24
I mean years down the road. Sometimes people feel sure at 20, but at 30-40 they wish they wouldn't have had that vasectomy or ligation. :)
Most of the vasectomies and ligations that are preformed today are reversable.
Thanks
RC
Well, it really depends. As far as I know, both have always been reversible, but you can't always be back to the way you were and be able to get pregnant (or get someone pregnant) afterwards. I'd make sure I really would never want biological kids before I got sterilized. I find that a considerable number of men can't get a woman pregnant after they have a vasectomy and get it reversed, but I don't know the numbers. And I'd never consider getting my tubes tied unless it was for a medical reason...so it'd be the man going under the knife. :)
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 3/9/2010 1:18:05 PM
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heremainsfaithful
Posts: 1137
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From: Alabama
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The newer way of doing a ligation is actually a cauterising rather than a tying of the tubes, which actually makes it harder to reverse. That's what I had. There's supposed to be less chance of a tubal pregnancy if you do get pregnant. Which can happen.
_____________________________
Jer. 29:11, II Tim. 2:13, Jude 24, 25
https://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/bookdisplay.aspx?bookid=58896
Eihstein's IQ may be higher than mine, but God's IQ is higher than anyone's.
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RE: Giving a baby up for adoption - 3/10/2010 11:21:36 AM
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GodsPrincess7
Posts: 86
Joined: 5/1/2005
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No, I wouldn't say that it is unethical-unless they knew they just couldnt care for the child because they are older or whatever reason-that would be unethical.
They could have gotten an abortion, which IS unethical.
I guess the question I have to ask is: they knew they didn't want anymore children, why didn't they take steps to protect against it? Perhaps God has a purpose for this new child?!
But I know a married couple who can't have children, and they adopted a child from a teenage unmarried couple who knew they couldn't care for the baby.
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MARRIED TO A MILITARY PILOT 
PLEASE PRAY FOR MY DEPLOYED HUSBAND! 
I am very glad this couple got to a place of acceptance on their own. 
It's too bad they didn't have the support and encouragement of their church on that journey.
